Drake monologue. Made fun of himself for being a bandwagon fan. At least he’s owning up to it. Jokes got awkward, including talking about doing ‘shrooms with Johnny Manziel and jokes about Tim Howard getting laid. The low point came with a “Lance Cam” routine poking fun at Lance Stephenson’s efforts to get under Lebron James’ skin during the playoffs. Though you never really expect too much from these monologues anyway, this got things off to a pretty rocky start with Drake trying a bit too hard.
First award of night: Cameron Diaz and Jason Siegel present Breakthrough Athlete, complete with more awkward presenter jokes. No big surprise here, as Richard Sherman beats out the Yankees’ Masahiro Tanaka, Eagles QB Nick Foles, and Portland’s Damian Lillard. Erin Andrews was suddenly overcome by thankfulness that she no longer works at ESPN.
Jessica Alba looked so good, I’ve already forgotten who presented Best Moment with her. I believe it was Russell Wilson. The award goes to the USA defeating Ghana in the World Cup. Cue a moment of indecision by Clint Dempsey and Jozy Altidore, as they both look at each other with an “Ok, which one of us is going up?” look. Answer: Both of them, along with other members of the team.
Jeff Bridges presents the first-ever Pat Tillman award to recognize Josh Sweeney, who similar to Tillman, volunteered to serve in Afghanistan after 9/11 and lost both his legs to an IED. Upon returning home, he took up sled hockey, and led the US to a gold medal at the Sochi Paralympics. Remarkable story of perseverance and a never-say-die attitude that should be an inspiration to all, able-bodied or not.
Drake pays tribute to Jeter, and then introduces Floyd Mayweather. Cue introduction skit for Moneyman. It’s an elaborate one, to say the least, and he comes on stage with Maria Sharapova, who frankly towers over him. The Game of the Year Award nominees? The Iron Bowl, Chiefs vs. Colts AFC playoff game, and the Stanley Cup Finals game 5. No surprise that the Iron Bowl is named the winner. Who will ever forget this play, after all?
Dan Marino and Kevin Durant are up next, presenting Peyton Manning with the Best Record-Breaking Performance Award for his 2013 season with the Broncos. Manning won his first ESPY in 1998, and he recalls receiving that award from Tyra Banks.
Gatorade High School Athletes of the Year recognized: Karl Towns and Brianna Turner. Towns will be playing for Kentucky and Turner for Notre Dame in the fall.
“Honorable Mention” song/skit by Drake. The “b-side” to “We Are The Champions.” The Heat, Lebron, Kentucky basketball, California Chrome, Colin Kaepernick, Danica Patrick, US World Cup squad all cited in the song for………well, for honorable mention. Bryan McKnight joins Drake on stage for the next song, “Sidepieces,” dedicated to all the WAGs and hangers-on. Next, “Sterling Never Loved Us,” for Vi Stiviano. Muted applause and laughter from the crowd at the end of that one, because we’ve gone far too long (a few minutes) without an awkward Drake moment. Aaaaand we’re going to break……
FINALLY, THE ROCK……..HAS COME BACK……..TO LOS ANGELES!
Well, Dwayne Johnson is presenting, anyway. It’s time for the Arthur Ashe Courage Award, which is going to former Missouri player and current St. Louis Ram Michael Sam. We’re all familiar with the story now – the first openly-gay player in college football becomes a standout defensive player for Mizzou, and gets drafted in the 7th round. Video montage presents a very touching story about Sam’s tough upbringing, his mother’s refusal to let him play football, his dedication to excellence, and his coming out while in college, culminating in his breakout senior year and then the emotional rollercoaster of the NFL Draft.
Sam pledges to spend the rest of his life living up to the award. Also has a message for all listening out there – great things happen when you have the courage to be yourself. Regardless of what your opinion is about gay rights, that’s a powerful message. Congratulations to Sam.
The Capitol One Cup winners are recognized – the University of Florida (women’s) and Notre Dame (men).
Drake mocking Manny Pacquaio’s vocal attempts. If you’ve ever wondered how worlds collide, consider “Pacquaio” singing “Let It Go,” now airing on ESPN.
Play of the Year Award: Paula Creamer’s putt from a mile away, Damon Lillard’s buzzer-beater, and two Auburn plays: the Hail Mary and the Missed Field Goal Return. Again, no big surprise here, as Chris Davis’ remarkable play wins.
Jordana Brewster and Henrik Lundquist come out to present the Best Comeback Athlete Award. Russell Westbrook beats out Josh Beckett, Sidney Crosby, and Dominic Moore. A deserved tribute.
In Memoriam segment, presented by Chris Berman. Leads off with special mention of Tony Gwynn, who was mysteriously and conspicuously absent from the MLB All-Star Game observances yesterday.
JACK BAUER IS PRESENTING!
Kiefer Sutherland recalls Jim Valvano’s inspiring speech from 1993, and leads into ESPN anchor Stuart Scott’s story of his battle with cancer. Awesome segment featuring the journey his life has taken in the 7 years since he has been diagnosed. Nice recognition for his family as well. Ever the jokester, Scott takes the mic and says, “Jack Bauer saved the world and he introduced me.”
Excerpts of Scott’s speech:
“To be honored with [this award], I now have a responsibility to also never give up. I’m not special. I just listened to what [Valvano] said. That’s why it’s so important, why we’re here tonight. I’m not losing, I’m still here, I’m fighting. When you die, it does not mean you lose to cancer. You beat cancer by why you live, how you live, and the manner in which you live. So live. Fight like hell, and when you get too tired, lay down and rest, and let someone else fight for you. I can’t do this all by myself. I’ve got thousands of people twittering, the wonderful people at ESPN, ESPN executives sending me text messages. But even with all that, the fight is much more difficult than I even realized. I’ve had liver complications and kidney failure in the past 10 days. As of Sunday, I didn’t even know if I’d make it here. I couldn’t fight. The doctors and nurses could. My friends and family could. They talked to me, they listened, they visited. They loved me. I called my big sister Susan a few days ago. Why? Because I needed to cry. Those things are very important. Two more necessities: my daughters Taylor and Sydney. The best thing I ever did was to be a dad to them. Taylor and Sydney, I love you guys more than I will ever be able to express. You guys are my heartbeat. I’m standing on this stage tonight because of you. Taylor is in college, my 14-year old Sydney is here, come up here and give your daddy a hug. Thank you ESPN, thank you fans, have a great night and a great rest of your life.”
Taye Diggs and Danica Patrick have the unenviable task of following up what will surely go down as the best moment of the night. The Male Athlete of the Year nominees are: Peyton Manning, Miguel Cabrera, Kevin Durant, and Floyd Mayweather.
And the ESPY goes to Kevin Durant. No, he doesn’t in fact say that his mom is the real Male Athlete of the Year, but he does pay fitting tribute to her.
Robin Roberts comes on stage to announce Stand Up To Cancer is investing $4 MILLION with the V Foundation. Astounding.
Final award of the night: Best Team, presented by Carmelo Anthony and Julius Erving. Nominees: UConn women’s basketball team, Seattle Seahawks, San Antonio Spurs, Florida State’s football team, and the Los Angeles Kings.
C’mon, did the others really have a chance?
And that’s it. Thanks for another great year of sports to all nominees, and here’s to next year!